need another drink. this is the easiest way
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
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you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
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He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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