chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize