Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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