Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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