my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Can I color on your dick again?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize