Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
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He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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