tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
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Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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