Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize