is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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