I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize