Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
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