You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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