I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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