I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girls should come with a carfax report
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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