the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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