It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
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