The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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