It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
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He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
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A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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