you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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