The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize