if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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