yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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