I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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