Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize