My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
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Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
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They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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