i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize