Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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