After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize