if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize