Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize