I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
The air taste purple.
Randomize