Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
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cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
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I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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