11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
id be glad to
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize