do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
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