can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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