Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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