her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize