dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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