I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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