i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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