i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
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I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
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You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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