We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Randomize