guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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