Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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