Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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