he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
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He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
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The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize