just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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