is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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