Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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