i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize