I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize