Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
If its not for food we ain't going out.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize