I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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